I’m very close to my parents. I used to be very close to both of my brothers. But lately…well, for a few years now, the bond and closeness that once was there, just isn’t anymore. My 2 brothers are still as close as ever, but I very much don’t fit into their closeness. And honestly…I do feel very excluded. And yes, it really did used to bother me. Now, it just makes me laugh. They’re getting tattoos for one another, they talk all the time, spend time together. Know things about each other. I highly doubt either of them could … Continue reading Unfamilied.

I’m not one of those…

I read an interesting (read: insulting, biased, dickish, douchey – because I’m none of the ideal things) article a few days ago. Basically, explaining what women should do/wear/behave to make themselves appear more attractive. So! We seemingly shouldn’t have chips or smudges in our nail polish manicure…ever. Which is hilarious to me, as my nails are always chipped – I use my hands, funnily enough. And when my nails are painted, they’re ridiculous colours. Sexy, matching underwear is apparently a mandatory rule. Another hilarious one. Yea…I’ll stick to my neon sports bras, tshirt bras and ‘nerdy’ boxer shorts, thanks. Knowing … Continue reading I’m not one of those…


Today isn’t a great day for me. The 13th won’t be either. Nothing will ever change that fact. But again…it is more bearable than it has been in past years. I’ve still escaped away to be alone and just think. Popped Placebo on. I usually go back to the instrumental playlist…but Placebo always calm me down, while also making me feel…happier. A little less melancholy, despite Brian & Stefan’s legacy as melancholists. Placebo ease some of the sting of the day. Talking, just daft banter, with friends helps too. As they engage me, and 1 is managing to get me … Continue reading 9/6/17

Soulmate…dry your eyes…

So…this month doesn’t feel as awful as it usually does. Don’t get me wrong, I still despise June. It is not a good month for me…but…it’s been…more bearable than in previous years. I think that’s down to the fact that I’m kept busy, but also because I have some amazing people around me now. That are there to listen to me ramble, watch movies with me, laugh with me, and just…make my awake time (which can last days at a time) less dark and depressing. I still prefer the oblivion of sleep, especially if I manage to not dream. But … Continue reading Soulmate…dry your eyes…

Dude has no chill.

Chilling. Relaxing. So yea…how do you chill? What relaxes you? Other than the obvious, I mean… Like…reading helps me to relax, but I usually get so involved or lost in the story and characters, that I end up tenser than when I started. Writing helps me most, I think. I don’t mean blogging…although this is relatively pleasant too. Writing code, writing down ideas, writing fanfiction, writing short stories or scenarios (harks back to the ideas, I suppose) helps me to unwind. But honestly, fanfiction probably helps the most. Why? Because I can write about already established characters, but twist and … Continue reading Dude has no chill.

Public Service Announcement

So as it goes, I’ve been wanting to write again, blog about nerdy shit – if you will. I’ve actually been writing elsewhere (journal, ao3, various other websites, etc), but yea. I wanna start writing shit here again. And, as you can probably tell, it ain’t gonna be no award winning shit. It’s gonna be how I speak, how I think, whatever the frakk I do. Ya know? So yea, let’s go with it! Unfollow as you will, shit’s gon’ get weird. Likely. We’re gonna have gaming ramblings, playlists, random fandom trash (a brand new feature xD), me complaining and … Continue reading Public Service Announcement

…Just Add Zombies.

Zombies seem to very much be the ‘in’ thing, especially at the moment. Your game is getting stale…? Just add some zombie-esq DLC, problem solved! Don’t get me wrong – I love zombies as much as the next person, but they don’t have to be included into everything. Most of the people I’ve talked to about Black Ops (new Call of Duty, released 9th November), are more excited for the zombie mode, than the campaign or the multiplayer. So many games have/are throwing zombies into the mix, that it’s starting to feel really unoriginal, at least to me. Borderlands, an … Continue reading …Just Add Zombies.