Let’s talk about S-E…wait, that’s not how you spell Overwatch…

•January 6, 2017 • Leave a Comment
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Ana is hiding behind Reinhardt and Sombra…is invisible…*cough*

You do realise that playing a game character doesn’t turn you into that character, right? You don’t magically acquire their attributes or personality. You main Winston – are you a genius ape with an arc pylon? Probably not. You main Jesse? Is it always high noon? Do you crave cigars? Wear a stetson…? Don’t lie to me, these are serious questions. Do you know where I’m going with this yet?

Tracer’s gay.

‘Ew. I’m never playing her again.’ – it’s cool, she probably doesn’t want you playing with her anyway. I mean playing on her. I mean playing as her. I mean…ahem. Moving swiftly on.

How did we not realise she was gay sooner? She’s stupidly hot, hilarious, fabulously British and jumps through time. Tracer is a gay Time Lord…Lady. You don’t need to be all those things to be gay. It just helps. If you want to exist within the Overwatch universe.

I’ll tell you who is gay – Symmetra. ’76. Reaper. Genji. Hanzo. D.Va. Mercy. Pharah. McRee. Junkrat. Roadhog (but he’s only gay for Junkrat). Sombra. Widowmaker (who we all ship with Tracer anyway, FFS!). Zarya. Lucio. Mei. Characters not even released yet, all gay! Look, the only none gay characters are Bastion – he’s having robot bestiality fun with that stupid bird. Torbjorn – no one can replace his turret and his arms are strong from constantly jacking up (I said up, damnit) that turret. Dude’s obsessed with that thing. Ana – she’s actually bisexual, but is in a committed relationship with Reinhardt. He’s big.

Jesus. I mean tall. You freak.

No, but seriously. Guy must be huuuuuuuung…over from New Year’s…

Y’all realise I’m taking the pishtashio’s, yea? How the hell does a fictitious characters sexual orientation have any impact on he or she as a character? If they were to say nerf Tracer’s blink, I’d be up in arms. But giving her a girlfriend in her backstory? Come on guys, get a life. It’s a gayme! I legit crack myself up. But seriously, it’s a game. And this is 2017. Make love (with whoever the hell you want, just keep it safe and consensual), not war! Love is love is love is love. So shut up and play!

 

On a side note, it is really difficult to find a picture of the current complete roster. That, or I’m just really lazy.

What Overwatch really needs…

•November 13, 2016 • Leave a Comment

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I love playing Overwatch, it’s a fun and unique game. I play on console (PS4), but regularly watch twitch PC players, and wish I’d just gotten it for PC…

So here’s some of the things it needs on console…

You know the callout wheel? I call it the ‘chat without the chat wheel’. What we really need is some new options on that;

  • ‘Thank you, Mei, for blocking our spawn with your ice wall. That really contributed to the team.’
  • ‘Yes. I can both see and hear that you need healing, but as our 3 (yes, 3) tanks have no interest in protecting the squishies, I died. Meaning you can callout ‘Need healing’ as many times as you like, I still have to get from our spawn back to the point, before I can heal you. Thank our Reinhardt that’s trying to kill the Widowmaker.’
  • ‘Thank you Reaper/Genji/Tracer/McRee (remove as applicable) for getting POTG, but putting zero time into defending or pushing the objective. As we know, kills are far more important than supporting your team.’
  • ‘We’re on attack, but Symmetra/Bastion/Torbjörn (remove as applicable) is a truly brilliant hero choice.’
  • ‘It’s okay Ana, you’re supposed to be a healer, but wasting all of your potentially life saving ammo on the Reinhardt shield and missing shots at the Pharah, is really displaying your skills. At not playing the character how she’s intended to be played.’
  • ‘We’re being flanked. Again.’ – We really need this on the ‘chat without chat wheel’, as no one ever talks anyway. Unless it’s to verbally abuse one another, or try to tell others how to play a character, while you yourself have died 19 times and still haven’t managed to heal/defend/kill. At all.
  • ‘Stop trickling!’ – we could argue that the ‘group up’ option is the answer here, but it’s so very rarely used or acknowledged, that it’s essentially useless.
  • ‘Yes guys, 2 Hanzo’s, Widowmaker, and Ana – not healing, is a brilliant idea on attack.’

The Dead Sea is not as salty as me.

This was written as a joke.

 

The Book Hangover

•May 17, 2016 • Leave a Comment

You know when a book is so good, that once you’ve finished it (like 7 times), when you try to read something else – but all that’s in your head is how freaking amazing the last book was. Yea. That.

I love Sarah J. Maas, I am in love with her writing. I’m a huge fan of the Throne Of Glass Throne_of_Glass_UKseries, so last year when I saw she had released a new series – A Court of Thorns and Roses, I bought it. Not really expecting to love it as much as I love ToG. How wrong I was…

Rhysand. Do I really need to say more? What is it with Sarah and her beautiful R-named boys? I’m crying, SJM, crying and laughing and loving. But mainly crying.

The second book in the ACOTAR books released recently. Have I read it 7 times? Yes. Yes I have. I adore it! I love it more than I loved ACOTAR. A Court of Mist and Fury is…it’s just…for me, it’s perfect.

RHYSAND!

It’s such an add77493_originalictive book, 1 chapter isn’t enough. I can’t just read a few pages, I have to read the entire book. Again and again.

It makes me laugh, makes me cry (I’m an emotionless robot, seemingly, but things I truly love…books, mainly, always evoke some kind of emotional reaction in me), makes me not want but need the next book! Also, we’re gonna do some spoilers (sweetie), you’ve been warned.

Rhys just loves Feyre so much *wailing, crying, dying*. ‘Are you short on food…?’ He noticed her extreme weight loss, he noticed and cared that she couldn’t sleep, he cared that she destroyed herself – and no one except Rhys, noticed or really cared. Rhys worships her, but would never lock her away, never belittle her, make her feel less than he, he wouldn’t just make her into a pretty doll wearing pretty dresses. He empowers her, believes in her, supports her, protects her – but never in a dominating way. He makes Feyre is equal. Rhys is my life, okay?

Amren too. I adore Amren. She’s so…other, and yet she’s accepted and loved in the Night Court. Just like the others in Rhys’ inner circle, the whole band of misfits. I love them all. I need Nesta to embrace her new life, I want her to fight for Feyre – the way Feyre fought for her. I want Nesta and Cassian to be mates, they just…they’re perfect for each other. Not too excited about Lucien and Elain, simply because I hate how Lucien cowered aACOMAF-cover1nd let Tamlin treat Feyre so badly. Lucien has a lot of making up to do, I hope Feyre gets the chance to show him just how amazing her mate is, and how weak, spineless and disgusting Tamlin is. I’ve never liked Tam =/ I never love the supposed “good guy”. Screw the Spring Court, I’d prefer the Hewn City. Well, Velaris ideally, but Hewn City trumps Spring Court any day.

I’ve completely forgot where I was going with this pos
t…

Oh yea.

I need Sarah J. Maas to write another 700+ ACOTAR books, just full of Rhysand, Feyre embracing her powers and Tamlin being tortured by Azriel – a lot.

I’m trying to read other things…but…they’re just not matching up against ACOMAF.

If you haven’t read any of SJM’s books, you seriously need to! Her Throne of Glass series is brilliant, but her ACOTAR books…they’re so perfect.

 

Bank Holoday 15% Discount @ PM, R!

•March 28, 2016 • Leave a Comment

Polish Me, Royalty!

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Over at PM, R!’s etsy store, we’re having a bank holo-day discount of 15% on every order! And you still get your FREE chocolate scented polish! At checkout use the code: bankholoday 

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Friday’s Forecast: Heavy Rain

•March 2, 2016 • Leave a Comment

Dude, seriously. Heavy Rain. PS4. Friday.

Heavy Rain is the game that firmly cemented in my mind, that I didn’t want to design games, but that I needed to. See…I feel for certain games, the way you feel for your child or your spouse or I dunno, your dog. My games are my…friends. In a sad sort of way. My games don’t leave, my games don’t forget (well, unless you lose your PS2 memory card. Then you just sit and cry inconsolably, then build a raft and restart the game. The raft is for floating, I’m bored of building bridges.), my games are reliable. They’re always gonna be there to make me feel better. Bad day? Go hang with Sora. You don’t feel well, but want to adventure anyway? Tomb Raider, Lara loves to go spelunking, especially when you have a cold. Angry? CoD, Halo, Killzone or Destiny – teabag the planet! And cheekyness in the killcam, always makes you feel better. Trust me, I will out dick you on these games, it’s what I do. Feeling blue? Lego games, doesn’t matter which one. They’re awesome little gaming candy crack – you wanted me to reference Sonic, don’t deny it. Well frakk you. Sonic is for when I feel nostalgic. Spyro is for those times too. Seriously, speeding through tree tops, ’cause you know the level better than you know the layout of your house.

‘Wanna go for a drink?’ No. Firstly, I dislike having to socialise. I’m not anti-social, I’m just anti-bullshit. I will happily socialise…in party chat. That way if you annoy me, I can always mute you. Secondly, just no. Why on earth would I want to go somewhere crowded, noisy, probably cold and expensive, when I could just chill here? Can of Relentless, game on one monitor, Family Guy on the other, and stuffing my face with liquorice. It’s not that I don’t like being around people…it’s that…no. No, I just don’t like being around people. There’s only like…10 (I’m related to 4 of them) people that I’d be cool hanging out with. And even then, I talk to most of you everyday anyway.

We’ve gotten really off topic here. Heavy Rain is out Friday. This means I will probably be too emotional and excited to do anything. At all. Except play this damn game. Seriously, this game is utterly vital to me. I’ve never found another game, that’s really captured my attention and held onto it, the same way Heavy Rain has. I…just love this game. Why can’t Norman Jayden just be real ='( we’d have such fun…taking too much tripto, or maybe just not enough…the tanks are coming…

Mother’s Day ANY 3 polishes for £9! from PM, R! with love and sparkles!

•March 2, 2016 • Leave a Comment

Polish Me, Royalty!

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PM, R! Shop

Mother’s Day is fast approaching, and while our mother’s already shine as bright as the sun…sometimes it’s nice for them to have a touch of added sparkle! Let’s polish them even 20160228_191955more pretty!

Choose ANY 3 polishes for £9, with FREE delivery within the UK. Or buy any 2 larger bottles for £8, again with FREE delivery. The larger bottles do have some extra colours, that are super limited edition!Moldiv_1456782104028

MoonDust – which is a super holographic, that requires no sponging for full coverage, is available in this offer. It hasn’t officially been ‘released’, and won’t be for a little while. MD is currently only available until Friday, within this offer.

Offer lasts from the 29th of February, until the 4th of March at 9pm.

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Polish Me, Royalty!

•February 16, 2016 • Leave a Comment

Polish Me, Royalty! is my nail painting, nail polish mixing, bottle pourning, glitter wearing alter-ego. So please pay me a visit, etsy shop launching soon (this week =O)! Click the image below to visit the PM, R! website.

PMR