Remove the controller wire from your mouth, it ain’t cute.

I wrote this in 2017, and never got round to posting it. I’m posting it now, because…I feel like it. The end.

Side note…the random dude I played Destiny with…yea…we’re kind of dating. 

Additional side note…2017 me swore a lot. Jeez. 2017!Sar had no chill.

You know, everyone wants to know or be friends or whatever with that nerdy girl or boy behind the computer screen…until they find out, that nerdy girl or boy, or you know – whatevs, is in fact not a size 6 or muscle bound,  isn’t socially active, they’re really kind of awkward, and would rather spend a Friday night alone, playing Halo, with total strangers. Instead of going out, wasting money on drinks –  so that you can bear to be in the same room as a bunch of total strangers…that keep rubbing up against you, and not even in a suggestive manor, it’s just weird. So yea.

I mean…it’s only in recent years that I’ve came out of the nerd closet/TARDIS, and thought – ‘meh. I like me. I don’t like you. Go screw yourself, you incredibly boring organic.’ When I was younger, I wasn’t popular. Hell, I wasn’t even unpopular – I didn’t even make the unpopular-to-popular scale. I was essentially the ‘did you do the Geography homework?’ or ‘Oh look, my friends aren’t here…I’ll sit next to you’ girl. And that didn’t bother me, because in my head I wasn’t walking through the hallways, I was exploring an uncharted planet, with repulsive in-bred lifeforms for inhabitants.

I mean if these repulsive in-bred lifeforms all suddenly died of horrifically embarrassing venereal diseases, I wouldn’t be all that surprised firstly, or in-fact even all that bothered. I might chuckle. Maybe. It would depend on how embarrassing the disease was.

The point is – don’t say you really wanna be friends with an awesome nerdy gamer “chick” – I frakkin’ hate that word -.- – when in actual fact, you want to be friends with a model, that games in their spare time. I’m not saying that some nerdy gamer females aren’t gorgeous, I know dozens of stunners. But not ALL are models in their free time, is all I’m saying here.

Actually, screw this whole thing. What I want to say is this:

STOP PUTTING THE FUCKING CONTROLLER WIRE IN YOUR MOUTH.

STOP LICKING THE FUCKING CONTROLLER, IT’S NOT FUCKING FOOD.

STOP CALLING INTO QUESTION THE BETTER PLAYERS SEXUALITY. WHETHER I’M GAY OR NOT, I STILL BEAT YOUR ARSE. MY SEXUALITY OR GENDER HAS FUCK ALL TO DO WITH YOU BEING A SHIT PLAYER.

STOP POSING FUCKING NAKED, WITH CONTROLLERS HIDING YOUR BITS. THAT’S WHAT WE CALL PORN, YOUR PARENTS MUST BE SO PROUD. (Speaking of which, who the fuck has time to strip off, cake on 7 layers of make-up, then “artfully” arrange various controllers around themselves…? Play the fucking game, dumbass.)

STOP TAKING PHOTOS OF YOU HOLDING A GAME DISC WRONG! YOU’RE GOING TO FUCKING BREAK IT OR SCRATCH IT! It’s not cute, it’s not sexy. It’s fucking annoying to people that actually take care of their gaming shit. Like, I just know that you’ve traded shit in, after you’ve been touching it inappropriately. You’re the person that’s left all the scratches and fingerprints all over this traded in shit. This is (one of the) reason(s) I don’t buy pre-owned shit. I used to work somewhere that did trade-in, so that’s what I’m basing this on. Also, buying pre-owned shit sucks for the gaming economy. But that’s here nor there or over the rainbow though.

I get a lot of messages, and a fair few friend requests on the various gaming platforms that I use. Why? ‘Cause I’m a total dick when I play – I will t-bag you, steal your shit, teamkill you if you have something I want (we’re talking Halol, the sniper rifle is mine, don’t fucking take it. I’m so dedicated to that rifle, that I send my friend over to the other teams base to steal their sniper, bring it back to me and trade for some shit at our base – so that I can then take the ammo or the gun if I was using the DMR or whatever I had on me. Of course, since Halo 5 we don’t really have that problem anymore, but if I see a teammate or enemy using a gun I want – sniper, beam, rail – then I will stalk that person.)… I can’t even remember what I was rambling about…oh yea. I remember.

So yea, I actually really like when people don’t know my gender. I mean, my name tends to give it away, but there’s the odd occasion where people don’t twig – which is awesome, ’cause they don’t start trying to flirt with me or be abusive towards me. I recently made a new friend, and this dude could not give a shit. He’s just cool, so long as I can hold my own. We barely know each other, but can chat and bitch and call each other names, and it’s cool ’cause we’re just gamers. That like Destiny way too much and wanna win. I want more friends like that. Who don’t want to chat or be my friend because I have a vagina, but because I’m good at the game and know way too much nerdy shit about it.

I like my gender, I love being female. I don’t even mind the abusive messages anymore, ’cause I gave up trying to be the better person. I will reply with 10x’s as much abuse, while laughing at the abuse you’ve just sent. I’m over trying to be fair, diplomatic, nice. Fuck that. I ain’t playing this game to appease you, I’m playing it ’cause I wanna play, for me. Don’t like it? Leave, unfriend me. No please, unfriend me. And leave. Especially the leave part.

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