You do realise that playing a game character doesn’t turn you into that character, right? You don’t magically acquire their attributes or personality. You main Winston – are you a genius ape with an arc pylon? Probably not. You main Jesse? Is it always high noon? Do you crave cigars? Wear a stetson…? Don’t lie to me, these are serious questions. Do you know where I’m going with this yet?
‘Ew. I’m never playing her again.’ – it’s cool, she probably doesn’t want you playing with her anyway. I mean playing on her. I mean playing as her. I mean…ahem. Moving swiftly on.
How did we not realise she was gay sooner? She’s stupidly hot, hilarious, fabulously British and jumps through time. Tracer is a gay Time Lord…Lady. You don’t need to be all those things to be gay. It just helps. If you want to exist within the Overwatch universe.
I’ll tell you who is gay – Symmetra. ’76. Reaper. Genji. Hanzo. D.Va. Mercy. Pharah. McRee. Junkrat. Roadhog (but he’s only gay for Junkrat). Sombra. Widowmaker (who we all ship with Tracer anyway, FFS!). Zarya. Lucio. Mei. Characters not even released yet, all gay! Look, the only none gay characters are Bastion – he’s having robot bestiality fun with that stupid bird. Torbjorn – no one can replace his turret and his arms are strong from constantly jacking up (I said up, damnit) that turret. Dude’s obsessed with that thing. Ana – she’s actually bisexual, but is in a committed relationship with Reinhardt. He’s big.
Jesus. I mean tall. You freak.
No, but seriously. Guy must be huuuuuuuung…over from New Year’s…
Y’all realise I’m taking the pishtashio’s, yea? How the hell does a fictitious characters sexual orientation have any impact on he or she as a character? If they were to say nerf Tracer’s blink, I’d be up in arms. But giving her a girlfriend in her backstory? Come on guys, get a life. It’s a gayme! I legit crack myself up. But seriously, it’s a game. And this is 2017. Make love (with whoever the hell you want, just keep it safe and consensual), not war! Love is love is love is love. So shut up and play!