The book with ALL the gifts

So. Wordyness is happening today.

DANGER, WILL ROBINSON, DANGER! I’m probably going to write a bunch of spoilery type stuff. Plan to read the book? Haven’t finished the book? Then don’t read the blog post, genius.

9780316278157 I finished ‘The Girl With All The Gifts’ a few nights ago. And now I’m going to chat at my blog about it. Okay, first of all I had no idea that this book was in fact a zombie book. Seriously. From the short synopsis on amazon (I’m a Kindle junkie, I live on bloody amazon), I thought the story was going to be about a government research facility, set in the future where experiments were being done on young kids…to give them super powers…I figured Mel would be telepathic. Or some shit like that.

Oh yea, I’ve figured as this is my blog, I’ll write how I talk. Badly, with plenty of cussing. Cuss you, you cussing cuss!

Where was I…? Oh yea. Melanie isn’t telepathic. She’s super smart, and also dead. Lol, that was a surprise to both me, and Melanie (later in the story for her. Bless her little dead head).

Hmm…I’m actually trying to think of some stuff that I didn’t like about the book, but I’m really struggling…give me a moment. Okay, that was a really big moment, I ate a rather delicious meal. Now, back to rambling about this pretty awesome book.

So, Melanie lives in a small cell and everyday she’s strapped into a wheelchair, while Sergeant Parks trains a gun on her and 2 of Parks’ underlings strap her hands, legs and neck to said chair. Then they do the same to all the other little kids in the…compound – yea, that’s a good word for it  – and then wheel them all into a classroom…because zombies need to know their ABC’s too. But really, the learning the ABC’s and a whole bunch of other shit, is actually related to why the kids are there in the first place. Enter Doctor Caldwell, she’s a bit…self-obsessed. She’s pretty much encased herself in her work (trying to cure zombie-tis, basically, though it has a fancy name…give me 2 minutes to find my Kindle, as I can’t remember how to spell the name of the infection…ah, the actual REAL  Ophiocordyceps unilatertalisdun dun dun!), and I actually really loved her…I’m not sure if I was supposed to like her, but I was kind of cheering her on. Go science!

Anywho. So, Mel and her merry band of tied up face munchers (unaware of what or who they really are) are being taught by a bunch of different teachers, the favourite being Miss Justineau…who Melanie is pretty much obsessed with. Seriously, that kid loves that damn teacher. Obviously, shit goes down. Shit gets real…Melanie’s moved off to Doc Caldwell’s lab for happy fun time disection-ation! (Totally a word. An awesome word.) Anyway. Oh wait, I forgot some bits – Miss J strokes Mel’s hair – which is a criminal offence…well, it’s dangerous as the e-blocking gel that all the humans have to douse themselves in wears off…and when Parkski has a little bitch fit, and leaves Melanie tied to her chair, Miss J rushes in…and Melanie gets hungry. But, her absolute adoration of Justineau keeps her from hurting her – something which is sort of drummed into you, throughout the book.

Right…science disection-y happy fun times! So, Caldwell has her prize, Mel, on her table. Shaves her head and prepares to harvest the brain…when Justineau (the interfering bitch, sshh…I’m channelling Caldwell here) runs in and that’s pretty much when all hell breaks loose…

Zombie attack! Though, they’re actually referred to as ‘hungries’ in GwatG, which I quite like. More shit goes down. Caldwell pretty much shreds her hands, Mel goes apeshit on some junkers (zombie/hungry wastelands survivors) who are going to attack, you guessed it, Miss effing J. And…I’ve just realised…Melanie is Harley Quinn…

Erm…yet more shit goes down, but we end up with Sarge Park,  Doc Caldwell, Miss Justineau, Private Gallagher (who pretty much caused the problems at the compound), and of course Melanie on a road trip…zombie apocalypse style.

Look, I hate trying to explain the story of a book – go read it.

The characters are very clichéd, but…in a good sort of way. The relationships between the 4 humans and little Melanie is brilliant, how (some of them) see her as an animal, but then start to warm to her, even rely on her. And all the while Melanie is still just a little girl, that was infected then taken to Doc Caldwell’s fun house, taught how to talk, interact and learn. Never knowing what she really was, then all of a sudden she’s out in the real, very deadly world.

I like Melanie. She’s brave, smart and she’s loyal, even in the face of her zombie hunger. Although, the whole Miss Justineau fanclub thing was at times a little bit grating…I’m team Caldwell, it’s pointless denying it.

It really is a brilliant book. It’s fast paced, but the science factor is what had me hooked – I want to understand why and how the zombie apocalypse commences. Sure, I love the gore and the tension…but the science behind everything is vital too.

I had to edit this, as I just had to fangirl about how amazing the end of the book is. The story comes full circle, and yea…the ending is just so fitting, yet slightly…haunting, yes…if you’re like me – aka you over think EVERYTHING then you’ll be going over the story inside your head for days…and the ending is just like, woah…that’s actually really deserving.

M.R Carey (Mike Carey), you brilliant human being.

Stop reading this now, go read the book I’ve just rambled about, genius.



~ by HerEvilRoyalty on July 10, 2014.

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